People often believe that it is difficult for ambitious people to have a healthy relationship. While the belief might have personal grounds, that need not always be the case. Psychologist Dr Chandrima Misra Mukherjee (PhD) told HT Lifestyle that it is well within one’s reach to have both.
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“Growth includes building a successful career, pursuing personal goals, and achieving financial independence. But the trouble begins when success at work begins to eclipse emotional intimacy,” she shared. “The trick is not having to choose between love and ambition but making room for both.”
The importance of consistency and small gestures
According to Chandrima, the first thing to get is that a relationship takes a lot of work, not just every now and then. Long hours, deadlines, and work pressures can eat into partners’ time together. But small habits can help keep emotional closeness alive. Such habits include:
- Eating meals together
- Checking in during the day
- Spending quality time together without phones
“Equally important is that conversations are not always about the busy partner’s work but give attention to the supporting partner’s day experiences and feelings,” noted the psychologist. “This helps both partners feel equally valued and included in each other’s lives. Sometimes, consistency is better than grand gestures.”
Communication is key
In any relationship, communication is key. According to Chandrima, partners should talk openly about their goals, work pressures, as well as expectations and plans for the future.
“If one person is heading into a busy season at work, letting the partner know what’s going on can help prevent any misunderstandings or feelings of neglect. Each partner needs to be heard, not asked to quietly adapt,” she stated.
Healthy relationship thrives with mutual support
Mutual support is another important factor, shared the psychologist. A healthy relationship allows each person to grow and not feel threatened by the other person’s success. Celebrating achievements along with sharing responsibilities and encouraging each other's ambitions builds trust.
Chandrima noted that it is also important to always recognise the supportive partner's role in the career growth of the other, especially in moments of success.
“They feel valued; they feel appreciated for their emotional support, sacrifices and patience,” she stated, adding, “There needs to be reciprocal support, so that one person’s career is not always putting the other person’s needs in the shade.”
Understanding balance
Chandrima highlighted that balance does not mean equal time every day. In her words, “There may be times when you are more focused professionally, but they should not become a permanent excuse for emotional unavailability. Couples should regularly revisit their priorities and reserve time for connection, affection and meaningful conversations.”
The psychologist noted that the healthier the ambition, the better for both spouses. The idea is to help and love both partners while preserving their own identities so that each of them can be happy.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
Dr Chandrima Misra Mukherjee is the co-head of psychological services at Artemis Hospital, Gurugram.